Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
