420 ftw
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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