I want to have your abortion
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
do nipples grow back?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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