Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
