Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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