you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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