idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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