How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
