i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
someone get that fucking seahorse.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I know her cup size but not her name....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
