what if every blade of grass was a penis?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
