member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
