so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
