I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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