i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
