So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
