A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
