I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
