operation have a gay friend backfired
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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