That's intense
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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