So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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