...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
