i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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