i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
