Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

ugly people sure do ruin things

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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(785): View more from Kansas

It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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(760): View more from California

so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

(513): View more from Ohio

Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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(613): View more from Ontario

On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.

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(806): View more from Texas

Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad

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