from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
