1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
