why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
