five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
