I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
