Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
