guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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