he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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