My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
