I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
