drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
