are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
