bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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