My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
