if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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