It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
