Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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