Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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