Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
