Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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