I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
