how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
