1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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