I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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