Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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