Whod you bang
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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