I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
