I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
