to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
