Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
